- You've tripped, sober, without an obstacle to trip on, numerous times. Sidewalk came up out of nowhere!
- You laugh the hardest at all of your jokes. Maybe even before the punchline. It's ok, they're funny jokes!
- You spent the entire day with your shirt buttoned up wrong, and checked yourself in the mirror a couple of times. You look good!
- You accidentally hit reply all, and because it was accidental, you probably shouldn't have.
- You tooted, it was supposed to be quiet. It was not. And it can't be passed off as some other noise.
#1 is my biggest offense. And since I have not been able to figure out how to walk, I have figured out how to recover somewhat gracefully. I will share these tips with you some time, I promise. Warning: You cannot recover with any grace if you face plant. And if you have an audience, you might even acquire the nickname "face plant". Sorry, just laugh it off. And no, the nickname probably won't go away... ever. Sigh.
Note: For the #5 offenders... It is advisable to try to avoid singing "beans, beans the magical fruit, the more you eat, the more you toot". Only awkward laughter will ensue.